Watch It! TV

Pay Cable Series - For Adults Only

2010-03-21T18:08:00.000-07:00

When I was young, we had five TV channels to choose from. There were the "big three" (ABC, NBC and CBS), PBS and "Good Lookin' 11." Didn't like what was on? Too bad. Fortunately, I was born without the ability to distinguish between good TV and bad, so I always found something worth watching.

Then one day, KCPQ's signal finally reached Seattle and I thought, "Wow! Six stations! Now this is living!" Even with 6 wondrous channels, there were still limitations. If you woke up too early, you got to choose between the farm report or the Indian Head Test Pattern. Couldn't sleep? You had until maybe 1AM before the channel concluded its broadcast day. I still remember listening to the Star Spangled Banner as a grainy image of a flag fluttered on my screen.

Now, (mumble-mumble) years later, I have about 400 channels including high definition, commercial-free music channels, movie and specialty channels. And despite the competition, the big three networks still command the lion's share of TV viewers. They are also adapting well to Internet viewers. It's not unusual for more than half of iTune's top weekly downloaded shows to be network series.

But cable has found a niche where the big networks just can't compete. Adult entertainment. Now, I don't mean "adult (wink-wink) entertainment," though there are channels for that too. I mean shows that try to fit in with pay cable's R-rated movie fare. Like the TV ratings folks will tell you, these programs contain mature themes, language and sexual situations.

Pay cable series like HBO's Oz, Deadwood and Rome or Showtime's Dexter and Nurse Jackie don't just push the envelope, they stretch it until its the size of a sleeping bag. These shows promise enough off-color humor, gore, nudity, sex and course language to draw at least a few people away from the more family-friendly (by FCC regulation) networks.

Luckily for cable networks, they're not bound by FCC regulations, so can show whatever they want. Case in point: Starz new series, Spartacus: Blood and Sand. It is by far the bloodiest, goriest, clothing-optional, sex-filled series I've ever seen. The show's visual style looks like any number of green-screen heavy graphic novel inspired movies like Watchmen, 300 and Sin City. The color palette is decidedly desaturated - except for the fountains of bright red blood. There's plenty of sex and nudity too. Of course, they always attempt to work it into the story. Artistic of them, don't you think?

Spartacus premiered with 659,000 viewers on Starz and another 570,000 for the simulcast on Encore. Together the two channels got a little over 1.2 million viewers. That's about a tenth of what a network show like LOST typically gets. But considering that I didn't even know Starz was still around, Spartacus is a definite win for them. So I'm not surprised that they renewed the series for a second season before it even premiered.

The lesson seems pretty clear. If you want your cable show to get viewers, you better check your modesty at the door. After all, take away the nudity, sex, swearing and violence and what do you get? A network show. And cable still can't compete there.

TV and Other Obsessions

2010-03-06T11:45:00.000-08:00

I can think of worse obsessions than watching too much TV. And there is no shortage of series that expose, exploit and parade these obsessions for our entertainment.

Case in point. It's easy to feel superior to those unfortunate clutter collectors on shows like Style Network's Clean House. Sweet and sassy host Niecy Nash (Reno 991) and her crew help families see how objects and clutter have taken over their lives and created not just a mess, but an unhealthy atmosphere. After some friendly pressure from the team, the families invariably agree to give up their mess in exchange for a stylish makeover. It's always amazing to see the transformation in the rooms and the attitudes of the family. And while the show sometimes focusses on real emotional moments, this series is played for laughs and the magic of the reveal.

As an amateur pack rat myself, it's a real pleasure to watch a telegenic TV team clean someone else's house while I wipe Cheetos dust onto the sofa and cackle, "my God, what a bunch of slobs!" Of course, these are nice normal folks who just went a little too far. Besides, the way my garage looks, I can't really throw stones. And like eating Cheetos, these episodes are just too delicious to watch just one. The most I've ever watched in a row is five - but hey, I can quit any time I want.

A lot less fun than Clean House (but no less riveting) is Hoarders, the new series on A&E. The subjects of these mini-documentaries are seriously compulsive hoarders who are often close to being removed from their homes by Adult Protective Services. These are truly tragic cases. And the episodes don't end with glamorous makeovers or sometimes even an uncluttered house. A psychologist specializing in compulsive hoarding councils the families while a cleaning crew tries to clean up the mess. Family disfunction, anger and mental troubles are brought to the surface. At the same time, mold, insects and even lost dead pets are uncovered under mountains of clutter. The show devotes only two days to council and clean. Though continued counceling is provided after the crew leaves, we're left with little doubt that the situation won't return to its previous state.

There's no question that we find these shows entertaining. But are they exploitative? Probably. Is it really making a difference? I doubt it. But it's hard to deny that they at least temporarily help these people come to grips with the severity of their situations. And in sometimes, help them avoid being removed by Adult Protective Services. Whether that's really doing them a favor or not will remain to be seen.

So long as Niecy doesn't show up at my house and try to take away my TV, we'll be fine.

How Glee Changed TV's Tune

2009-10-25T17:56:00.000-07:00

Compared to the last few years, this television season has been fairly lackluster. Can't really say I'm surprised. With revenues down, most broadcast networks aren't really willing to take big gambles with their programming. Instead we get more CSI on CBS, more sitcoms on ABC and more Jay Leno on NBC.

This kind of "inside the box thinking" has lead to very few watercooler-worthy shows. Sure everyone's talking about how Leno is taking down NBC (the network's weeknight 10PM slot is down 30%), but I don't think that's the kind of buzz they were looking for. So it begs the question, where's this year's LOST, Amazing Race or Big Bang Theory?

Surprisingly, its on FOX in the unlikely form of the high school musical called Glee. Speaking of High School Musical, I just bet Disney-owned ABC is wondering why they didn't move their hit franchise into a network series first (I know I am).

There's really nothing new about the concept of Glee. High school jock and brainy girl make beautiful music together. It's been a motion picture staple since Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney first said, "Let's put on a show!" It continued through the 60s with Frankie and Annette's beach party movies and came back in full force with the High School Musical trilogy. But those were movies. For some reason musicals have never worked in series television (Viva Laughlin being the most recent example). That is, until now.

Glee is not only pulling in a solid 8 million viewers a week, they've also sold 1.7 million downloads on iTunes since the series started (and we're only on episode seven)! Even better for FOX, the viewers are those young viewers the Internet told us had stopped watching TV. So, how did they manage to pull this off? Good talent, good timing and no shortage of good luck.

For starters, they centered the show around the Glee club. For some reason modern audiences have a hard time with people singing about their feelings unless its part of (or near) a show. For instance, as long as Chicago or Moulin Rouge's action was set in a theater, people are okay with people singing offstage. Unlike, say, Cop Rock.

Secondly, they borrow from a catalogue of hit songs. From Heart to Journey to Beyonce, the music is fast, infectious and fun. I'll admit, I've got a few on my iPod.

And speaking of fun, they made the show primarily a comedy. Glee is the show people feel good watching because it makes them feel good. And let's face it, there aren't many shows these days that pull that off.

And lastly, they give us characters we can root for. Like a page out of American idol, Glee has a cast of talented outcasts, wackos and heartthrobs that we can identify with and want to see succeed.

Now I'll admit, I predicted months ago that a show this fun, entertaining and whimsical was destined to be canceled by FOX after just a few episodes. But they've already ordered 22 more. I know, no one is more surprised than me! I looks like maybe Glee has finally found the right formula to keep a musical on the air.

Now all we can do is wait to see if the inevitable knock-offs will have learned the same lesson (I'm not holding my breath).

TV's Most Singable Jingles

2009-09-12T16:29:00.001-07:00

Does this face look familiar? Did you suddenly start to hear music and the words, "my bologna has a first name..." running through your head? Well, I bet you hear it now.

It doesn't take a doctor to understand the effects that music has on memory and the human brain. We've all experienced it firsthand - sometimes to the level of annoyance - when those entertaining jingles just won't stop playing over and over in your head.

Still, advances in brain scans have shown researchers precisely how this works. A recent study showed the medial pre-frontal cortex as a music-processing region which can activate associated mental images. So that, when you hear music, your brain starts to play the images it associates with the tune.

No wonder advertisers are so fond of music. Music and lyrics can make a commercial, product or brand not only memorable, but something sharable. We delight in sharing a common memory and the nostalgic feelings they invoke. Want to prove it? Just start singing that bologna song, and see how long it takes for others to join in. For many Americans, jingles are the hymns of our society.

Today, national advertisers are more likely to license a popular song that viewers are already familiar with. But it's a testament to the power and pleasure of a well written and executed jingle, that many classics are still used 30 and 40 years after they first aired.

Here, in no particular order, are some my favorite jingles in commercial history. If you can't remember them, just click the link to watch the YouTube video. But be warned, these jingles have a way of sticking in your head. And I have to admit, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'd Like to Teach the World To Sing

Who can forget Coca Cola's anthem to togetherness? More than a touchy-feely ditty, this song expressed the strategic concept of Coke as a drink we share with those we love and with the peoples of the entire world. Heavy.

It's Slink y

Who didn't want this toy after hearing this song? Talk about powerful, this song got millions of children to ask their parents to buy them a spring. A spring! Once down the stairs and it became a tangled mess. Truth is, that song is more entertaining than the toy.

My Bologna Has A First Name

Now, most of us don't write the word bologna very often, but darn few of us would even have a chance of spelling it correctly without this jingle. Between this and the Oscar Meyer wiener song, they had all of America sining about ground up animal bits.

I'm A Pepper

This song celebrates the individuality of the drinker. In a world battle scarred by the cola wars, the idea of drinking (and being) something different was really worth singing about.

Two All Beef Patties...

Though this sandwich premiered in McDonald's menus in 1968, it wasn't until 1975 that every man, woman and child could sing its list of ingredients. Ah, you're singing it now, aren't you? Aren't you!

Starburst Fruit Chew

Now this jingle's not as famous as many of the others on this list, but it's a favorite jingle (and candy) at Jones Advertising, and we enjoy both regularly.

The Unsinkable Taste of Cheerios

I love this jingle not just for it's singability, but for the clever way the marketing team took a inconsequential thing about the product (it doesn't sink!) and turned it into a way to describe the flavor and health benefits.

Doublemint Gum

What can you say about spearmint gum? Not much. But pretend it has double the flavor (compared to...?), add some attractive twins and you've got a campaign that makes a product really stand out. After all, can you name another spearmint gum?

The Big Fig Newton

This jingle not only had all of America singing along, we all got up to dance with it too. If they'd played this right, Big Fig could have had his own show like the California Raisins. Eh, maybe we're better off. Still, I have to admit I have a sudden craving for a Fig Newton.

I know there's lots of other great TV commercial jingles out there. From Mentos (Do-do-do-do Do-WAH!), to "Let Noxima Cream Your Face," I bet each of you has a favorite. Share yours with me and the other readers in the comments section below.

Have a Nice Fall! TV Preview

2009-08-29T08:51:00.000-07:00

Now that summer is on the wane and the days are getting shorter, there's only one thing that can keep my spirits from sinking away with the sun. Yes, the Fall TV season. I still miss the days when Fall was "the" TV season and the big three (okay, only three) networks would roll out their sneak peak preview nights (for primetime and Saturday morning cartoons).

This September boasts a whopping 109 primetime premiers. So kiddies, that means its time to buckle down and learn how to program that DVR. Of course, not even a professional watcher like me can keep up with that many shows (I'm still expected to show up at work sometimes), so I've narrowed down the list to a more manageable sixteen.

September 1: Surviving Disaster (Spike)

Want to know the best way to survive a shark attack, plane crash or hostage crisis (other than never leaving your home)? A former Navy SEAL promises to take us through elaborate survival methods step-by-step to increase our chances. Of course, if he's so smart, why won't he tell us how to survive an economic meltdown?

September 9: Glee (FOX)

This show premiered all the way back in May and everyone was quick to pronounce this High School Musical derivative (macho jock and nerdy girl just have express themselves through song) an instant hit. The premier episode was very enjoyable indeed, but I have my doubts that the show will find an audience. It would have improved its chances if FOX had paired the show with American Idol, but then again, it might do very well with...

September 9: So You Think You Can Dance (FOX)

Back for its sixth season, this show takes young dancers from all over the country and really tests their adaptability and artistry. I most enjoy seeing which dancers will perform best outside of their speciality genres. And anyway, there's no way I'm going to subject myself to watching Tom Delay strut his stuff on Dancing with the Stars. My eyes! My eyes!

September 9: America's Next Top Model (CW)

There's a reason this show is the CW's best rated. When you take a houseful of starving models and force them to compete for a lucrative contract (or a sandwich), there's going to be drama. And if it seems as if this show is on 24/7, that's because it is. They're already on their 13th cycle even though they've only been on the air since 2003.

September 10: Vampire Diaries (CW)

Based on the popular series of books by L. J. Smith, Vampire Diaries is part supernatural thriller and part teenage nighttime soap (think Dawson's Creek with fangs). At the center of the story are two vampire brothers, one good and one evil. And naturally they're both fighting for the fair Elena's soul (and knickers). It looks like a well crafted and interesting show, but we'll see if this show (along with True Blood and Twilight) push us to our vampire saturation point.

September 12: Robin Hood (BBC America)

Let me start by saying, BBC America is quickly becoming my favorite network. The shows are smart, original and everyone has accents! Now I haven't seen the first season of this show, but after seeing the previews for season two I've added it to my Blockbuster list. As dark, gritty and dramatic as they come, this version of Robin Hood is equal parts political intrigue and swashbuckling adventure. And finally seeing someone give government corruption a sound thrashing is a pleasure indeed.

September 14: The Jay Leno Show (NBC)

Truth be told, I'm not a big Leno fan. He's pleasant enough, but not worth staying up past my bedtime for. But I am fascinated by NBC's grand experiment (some say folly). They've canceled all of their 10 P.M. weeknight dramas and will be showing only Jay instead. Cheaper to produce than your typical hour-long drama, the show if successful, may cannibalize the audience of their late night talk shows. And if a flop, leave them with a five-night hole to fill. I may not watch the show much, but you can bet I (and the other networks) will be paying close attention.

September 15: The Biggest Loser (NBC)

This is one of those shows that I find both inspirational and mortifying to watch. I feel great watching these people work so hard to regain the health and self esteem they've lost. I also feel bad that it has to be a competition where the weakest ones get cut from the team (takes me right back to 4th grade gym class). Maybe I wouldn't feel so bad if I didn't eat a bowl of ice cream while I watched. Maybe, but we'll never know.

September 17: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX)

If you haven't caught this show, you've missed four seasons of a rude, crude, black comedy (if you like that sort of thing - and I do). Basically it's about a group of lazy losers and the other lazy losers that put up with them. The good news is, if you pull a few all nighters, you can catch up on past episodes here.

September 17: The Office (NBC)

I never miss The Office. From Pam and Jim's sweet office romance, to Michael's cringe-inducing social blunders, every episode is comedy gold. It's not a ratings powerhouse, but the show has won Emmys, Screen Actor's Guild, Golden Globe and Webby Awards. It's even been honored by the Peabody Awards. Now starting their sixth season, this is one of those rare shows where the quality of the writing and performances has stayed strong and steady over its entire run. So, you'll know where I'll be Thursday nights. Is that sad?

September 21: Big Bang Theory (CBS)

One of the few shows that could drag me over to CBS, The Big Bang theory has crackerjack writing and painfully hilarious performances. If you're a geek at heart or just love geeky humor, you'll be in good company with these nerdy characters. Besides, it's a great show to watch while you're working on your model of the Enterprise (not that I do that sort of thing...).

September 23: New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS)

Julia Louis-Dreyfus' sitcom has just gotten better with age. As her Old Christine character gets more manic and outrageous, the show gets funnier. She's been compared to Lucille Ball and that's not a bad comparison to make. A strong supporting cast lead by the arid wit of Wanda Sykes makes this my other CBS favorite. I keep wishing they'd build a strong night of comedy around this show (start by keeping it with Big Bang and How I Met Your Mother), but do they listen? Nooooo.

September 23: Cougartown (ABC)

Courtney Cox returns to network television with this stupidly named, but promising sitcom about a 40-something mother returning to the singles game. The preview I watched made it look pretty fun and it's nice to see a show starring a woman over 25, but I think the title alone is going to get people rolling their eyes. Well, I'm going to give it a chance. You can check out the preview here and let me know if you think this cougar will stay or just get spayed.

September 27: FOX's Sunday Night Animation Domination

FOX welcomes its new Family Guy spinoff, The Cleveland Show to its Sunday night animation lineup. Since Cleveland is one of Family Guy's drier and more underused characters, I'm curious to see where this is going to go. It joins The Family Guy in its eighth season and The Simpsons in its 21st (yikes I'm old) season. Ready for a blast from the past? Check out the very first Simpsons shorts from the 1989 Tracey Ullman Show where they got their start.

Did I miss any new shows that you want to recommend to me and my other readers? Leave a comment and let us know.

Summer TV Heats Up

2009-08-02T08:11:00.000-07:00

With 54 new and returning shows premiering in August, there's bound to be something to keep you entertained on those nights when it's just to hot to sleep. This is especially true if you're a fan of reality series. A few new shows sound particularly hopeful, while returning favorites are a welcome respite after the summer's entertainment dry spell.

Below are the ten shows I'm most looking forward to checking out, but if you want to see a list and description of all 54 shows, I've included a link at the end of the article.

August 4th: Addicted to Beauty (Oxygen)

This show looks as shallow, vapid and repulsive as its cast of Medi-Spa employees with their botox-laden foreheads, trout-pout lips and ability to create drama from the utterly mundane. In short, it's destined to be the kind of hideous train wreck of self absorption that you can't stand to watch but can't bear to turn away from.

August 6th: Police Women of Broward County (TLC)

This 10-part docudrama series follows a group of four florida police women as they face gang busts, car chases and undercover sting operations, but the drama doesn't stop at the end of the shift. After years of watching strong women law enforcement officers on Cops, this show may not shine a new light on womankind, but it's got to be an improvement on The Real Housewives of dot-dot-dot.

August 7th: Monk (USA)

Now in its 8th and final season, this show is formulaic with a capital "f." But that hardly matters when you have a show this consistently entertaining due to the charming performance by Tony Shalhoub. That's why he's been nominated for an Emmy Award seven years in a row. Besides, I'm old enough now that I can admit that I like a nice little murder mystery. Monk is my generation's Matlock.

August 9th: Comedy Central Roast: Joan Rivers (Comedy Central)

Not for those with tender ears, these Comedy Central Roasts are bleep-riddled cavalcades of smut and depravity. And they are not to be missed. This year, Queen of the D-List, Kathy Griffin is roast master general for comedy legend and plastic surgery pioneer Joan Rivers.

August 9th: America's Best Dance Crew (MTV)

If you've watched America's Got Talent only to be convinced "no, it does not," you really need to watch America's Best Dance Crew. Now in its 4th season, this show boasts the most amazing live performances by young urban dance groups you'll ever see. Their acrobatic flips, turns and faultless timing will have you gasping and cheering. Even better, it'll make you believe that yes, America does so have talent (just on a different show).

August 16: Mad Men (AMC)

Now, I've never really gotten into this show myself, but I know enough people that sing its praises that I can safely recommend it. Oh, and it did snag another 16 Emmy nominations this year. Including Outstanding Drama, Outstanding Lead Actor and Outstanding Lead Actress. So, its pretty safe to say that if I ever gave this show a real chance I'd probably decide that it's... outstanding.

August 17: Flipping Out (Bravo)

The star of this reality series isn't just tortured by his obsessive-compulsive behavior. He make sure everyone around him is tortured by it. And while its sometimes painful to watch this professional house flipper flip out over the littlest thing (like how much ice is in his soda), I can't deny that the homes he remodels are works of art. And I am curious to see what he's going to do now that the housing market is kaput.

August 20: Project Runway (Lifetime)

This is the premier I've been waiting all year for! The 6th season of this show was tied up in courts for over a year while Bravo and Lifetime fought for the rights to air the new season (Lifetime won and Bravo retaliated with the lukewarm rehash Fashion Show). This year they've moved the Project Runway from New York to Los Angeles which should bring a different flavor to the challenges and the fashions. The question is, with a location change, network change and after sitting on the shelf for over a year, will there still be an audience? I'll let you know.

August 23rd: What Would Brian Boitano Make? (Food Network)

Olympic gold medal figure skater (and South Park punch line) Brian Boitano is a surprisingly fun and easygoing cooking show host. He plans meals and parties for family and friends and gets tips and lessons from moms, chefs and even the Internet. This show puts Brian's showmanship to good use and the Internet sneak peeks illustrate that even a serious meal should include a hearty helping of fun.

August 26: Top Chef (Bravo)

So this season we have two chefs from my own hometown of Seattle competing against chefs from L.A., New York, Atlanta, Philadelphia and even France. This show is the most serious and challenging of the cooking competition shows, but this year I'll really be watching to see how my home girls do.

So not a bad bunch of shows to premier a month before the "real" season begins in Fall. Let me know if any of these shows strike your fancy (or just chill you to the bone). If there's a show you think I should check out, be sure to let me know in the comments section. And be sure to check back for my picks of the upcoming Fall TV Season soon.

Complete List of August Premiers

Emmy Noms and Bombs

2009-07-19T20:03:00.000-07:00

As a dyed in the wool videophile, it pains me to admit that I always bomb at guessing who's going to win at the Emmy Awards. The terminal flaw in my precognitive skills seems to be that I always pick who I want to win, not who I think the academy will choose.

So this year I'm going to try something different and I'm going to include both picks. This way I might (might) just get a few right. Mind you, my picks will be from my favorite categories, so you'll have to argue amongst yourselves who'll win the Best Actor Emmy in a Dramatic Series (they're all downers as far as I'm concerned).

Dramatic Series: The show that I want to win is ABC's "LOST." This show is a twisting, turning, maddening mind trip. It eschews the usual formulas you typically find in dramatic series and really tries (and succeeds) to take us places we've never been before. The show that I think will win is AMC's "Breaking Bad." It's got drugs, cancer, violence and (very dark) humor. Personally, I find this show too painful to watch, but I suspect Academy voters can't get enough of it (last year it received four nominations and won two).

Comedy Series: The show I would really love to see win year is HBOs "Flight of the Conchords." This is the fictionalized story of a real comic-rock duo and their attempt to make it big in New York. These guys are the epitome of lovable losers, but their imaginative and hilarious songs shine an pleasurably painful beam on their (and our) human weaknesses. Of course, I think the Academy will choose NBC's "30 Rock" and I can't really blame them. It's leading this year with a whopping 22 nominations and it did (deservedly) win Best Comedy Series last year. This is the show that made NBCs Thursday night "must see TV" again, so I can't feel bad if they're rewarded for it.

Supporting Actor: My pick is Michael Emerson from ABC's "LOST." He plays the role of Benjamin Linus. And let me just say that after watching this character, and this actor's performance for three years, I still can't decide whether he's a good guy or a bad guy. If that's not Emmy-worthy, I don't know what is. However, I think the Academy just might choose William Shatner for his third win in this category. His characterization of Denny Crane on ABC's "Boston Legal" is truly riveting. And since the show is no longer on the air, this is their last chance to reward it.

Actor, Comedy Series: Oh please, let it be Jim Parsons from CBS's "Big Bang Theory." He plays Sheldon the "king of the nerds" on this hilarious show by the creators of the unwatchable 2-1/2 Men (I know, I know, people love that show, I just can't figure out why). "Big Bang Theory" makes up precisely 33% of all the shows I watch on CBS, so that's gotta count for something. That said, I think they're going to give it to Alec Baldwin of NBC's "30 Rock." And he deserves it. His razor sharp delivery is the icing on an already stellar cast.

Actress, Comedy Series: I have a tie here. I can't decide between Juia Louis-Dreyfus for CBS' "New Adventures of Old Christine" or Christina Applegate of ABC's "Samantha Who." On one hand, Julia carries that entire show with masterful skill and with hilarious results. On the other hand, Christina's "Samantha" was a refreshingly nice show about a bad girl trying to rebuild her life the right way - and she was canceled before her time. On the other-other hand, Tina Fey is going to win for "30 Rock," so my indecision is doesn't matter a fig.

Supporting Actor, Comedy Series: Now this time, I want a "30 Rock" actor to win. I think Tracy Morgan's maniacally self-absorbed performance is sheer genius. The more I watch him, the more I love him. Of course, I won't mind when the academy gives the award to Neil Patrick Harris for his role on CBS' "How I Met Your Mother." After all, he is hosting the Emmy Awards this year, and if they don't give it to him, he might just end the show there.

Supporting Actress, Comedy Series: My pick for this category is Kristin Chenoweth for "Pushing Daisies" on ABC. She plays the love-lorn Olive Snook. One of the best parts about having this Broadway star on show show was that she'd occasionally break into glorious song. And again, this show was killed before its time so I hope the Academy shows ABC the error of its ways. But... no surprise here, I think they'll give it to Jane Krakowski of 30 Rock. Yeah, yeah, she's awesome. The cast is awesome. The show is awesome. I guess that's why I think the Academy is going to reward them with all the Emmys.

Okay, those are my picks. Who do you wish would win - and who do you think is going to win. And which show would you like to give a shout out to? You can school me in the comment section below.

The 61 Emmy Awards will air live on September 20th. See the complete List Of Emmy Nominations here.

The End of TV's Summer Dry Spell

2009-07-10T21:16:00.000-07:00

Lets face it. With very few exceptions, Summer is a television wasteland. I guess they think we're supposed to go outside or something. As if.

Not that Summer was a complete loss. Fox's one episode of Glee and ABC's (balls ahoy!) Wipeout are great, but not nearly enough to hold me over until the Fall season begins. Well, we can all be thankful that the summer's heat is driving us back inside just in time for the networks to premier a whole slate of summer shows for us.

As a matter of fact, there are 29 shows premiering this month. But even yours truly can't manage to watch 29 new shows this month (I do have a life, you know), so here's my pick for the most promising new shows and returning favorites for July.

July 12: Drop Dead Diva (Lifetime)

A "spirtited" comedy about ditzy model who returns to earth to inhabit the body of a plus-sized attorney. Starring Brooke Elliott and co-starring the super snarky Margaret Cho as her loyal assistant (Cho's the real reason I'll be checking this show out).

July 15: Michael and Michael Have Issues (Comedy Central)

Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black (both of the hilarious but short-lived series Stella) combine ironic commentary and comedy sketches on pop culture and hot-button topics. These guys are dark and dry and can't keep a show on the air - so check them out while you can.

July 19: Ace of Cakes (Food Network)

It's season seven (can you believe it?) for Chef Duff and his quirky troupe of cake decorators. This reality series follows the crew each week as they create the most amazing custom cakes you've ever seen. Yes, it's food porn - but with a plot.

July 19: HGTVs Design Star (HGTV)

What makes this design competition so entertaining is watching the the competitors take identical rooms and challenges and seeing the totally different vignettes they create. Oh yeah, and the super bitchy melt-downs.

July 21: Hell's Kitchen (Fox)

British chef Gordon Ramsey turns up the heat on his already hot temper and foul mouth to forge a winning chef. This show is at its best when Chef Ramsey loses it and just rips these (often arrogant) wannabe chefs a new pie hole.

August 9: Joan Rivers Celebrity Roast (Comedy Central)

The queen of the D-List, Kathy Griffin hosts the Comedy Central roast of comic legend and plastic-surgery addict Joan Rivers. If you haven't seen these roasts yet, be warned, the roasters are filthy, ruthless and balls-out hilarious.

Check back soon for the upcoming August premiers. And if there's a new show premiering you think I should check out, be sure to leave a comment below.

Cancelation is Hereby Canceled

2009-06-13T09:43:00.000-07:00

Thanks to our fascination with movies, TV and all things celebrity-related, most of us know how the TV production process works. Based a strong pitch or pilot episode, a network agrees to buy a certain number of episodes which they promote, air and sell commercial time for. And as is often the case, a show can have a rabid fan base and be a critics darling, but if it doesn't stack up in the ratings (the measurement used to show viewership and decide how much commercial time costs) it's canceled by the network and disappears forever. Or does it?

Syndication often brings new life and invigorated audiences to canceled shows. That's precisely how Star Trek evolved from a poorly rated TV sci-fi series to 11 motion pictures, 5 new televisions shows (including a Saturday morning cartoon) thousands of books, magazines and comics. Now the combination of reruns and DVD sales are showing networks that "cult classics" can deliver an audience given time and exposure.

Family Guy was the first series to have been given a second life based on DVD sales. FOX first canceled the poorly rated series in 2000. It brought it back briefly only to cancel it again in 2002. Then it was given a third life in 2005. Now with new episodes airing on FOX, syndicated runs on multiple networks and DVD sales, the show that could not find an audience won't go away.

Futurama was Matt Groening's follow up to his hit, The Simpsons. But due to FOX's penchant for pre-emting the show, moving it in the schedule and airing new episodes erratically, its ratings dropped from 19 million viewers to 6.5 over three years. Is there a lesson to be learned here? Not by any network I know. Presciently, Groening began shopping the series around before FOX finally dropped the ax. In 2002 the episodes were picked up by Cartoon Network for it's late night Adult Swim program block. In 2005 Comedy Central boldly purchased the syndication rights to the series to begin running after Cartoon Networks contract expired in 2008. They also began producing three straight to DVD films. Now Comedy Central has announced that it has purchased 26 new episodes of Futurama to begin airing in 2010. Now that's what I call network support!

So, the next time your favorite critically acclaimed ratings victim gets canceled (you hear me Pushing Daisies and Samantha Who?) just keep your hopes high and your eyes open. Because these days, cancelation does not necessarily mean the end.

Insider's Look at the Emmy Awards

2009-06-07T21:37:00.000-07:00

Get a special behind-the-scenes look at the 46th Annual Northwest Emmy Awards. Join me on the red carpet, on the stage and behind the scenes as Jones Advertising attends the glittering event. How tongue-tied did I get on stage? See for yourself in the latest episode of Watch It! TV.

Sure It's A Hit. But Is It Star Trek?

2009-05-31T14:40:00.000-07:00

Anyone who's known me for more than five minutes knows that I'm a big Star Trek fan. Truth be told, my devotion to the sci-fi classic isn't just overblown, it's downright Shatneresque.

So when my friends heard that there was a new Star Trek movie coming out they asked, was I excited to see it? Did I think it was going to be good? Was I going to be first in line? I didn't know how to answer any of these questions because frankly, I was scared. And I had plenty of reasons.

I had heard rumors that director J.J. Abrams was not a Star Trek fan, was not following established canon and was intending to update the movie for a wider audience (meaning 13 year old boys). Great. So he was planning to "fix" my all-time favorite show the same way like-minded directors fixed other cult classics like Lost In Space, Wild Wild West, Bewitched, The Avengers and of course, Transformers. Now I know, the Transformers movie was a huge hit and made a ka-jillion dollars. That doesn't mean it wasn't a steaming pile of crap characters, tired plot-points and blurry computer graphics (and I'm trying to be nice here).

I stalled almost two weeks after Star Trek came out before seeing it. In that time I read every review, grilled friends and scanned the message boards (yes, I visit Star Trek message boards - I'm not proud). Finally, I was ready to see it for myself. And... hey Mikey, I liked it! But is it Star Trek? Well, maybe not exactly, but J.J. came pretty darn close.

**Spoilers follow**

The first thing they did right was to create an alternate timeline. Me (and my fellow nerds) know James T. Kirk and crew inside and out. We've devoured TV, movies, books, comics and cartoons. We know their past, their future, their favorite foods and tastes in women. Creating a new timeline allows for a Star Trek that's both familiar and new at the same time.

They also did a good job selecting and directing the actors. Most of them look enough like the original actors to satisfy true fans. But more importantly they all understood and conveyed the spirit of the characters.

Best of all, J.J. remembered that Star Trek isn't about space. It's about the human condition (as viewed from space). The story (like all good Star Trek) uses external crises to force our characters to confront their own internal conflicts and flaws.

One thing J.J. didn't seem to understand is that Kirk and Spock aren't a duo and McCoy shouldn't be demoted to irascible sidekick. The three men are parts of a greater whole. Kirk's courage and determination need Spock's logical mind and McCoy's deep feelings to function as a commander. (J.J., you use OZ reference all the time. Courage-heart-brain, get it?). McCoy had some nice character moments in the movie, but I don't think he served his character's true purpose.

The only other negative I feel worth mentioning is the Enterprise. The exterior was okay (yes, just okay), but the bridge looked an overly-lit hair salon and the engineering deck looked like a crummy old factory (which is exactly where they filmed it).

Okay, one other thing. J.J., can you back off on the lens flares a little? It's one thing to give a movie a distinctive look, but not every scene needs to have bands of light splitting them in two.

See? That wasn't so bad. All in all a good film adaptation of a beloved TV classic. And let's face it. Even if it had stunk I'd still buy a ticket, a DVD, a Blu-Ray copy, pick up the comics, magazine and see the sequels. After all, I'm just your average nit-picking, detail-obsessed, line-quoting lunatic... in other words, a Star Trek fan.

What did you think? Did J.J. and crew make the best Trek ever or did he miss the target? Leave a comment and let me know.

TV's Guiltiest Pleasures

2009-04-29T10:36:00.000-07:00

There's plenty of mind-rotting, cringe-inducing trash on TV. Outwardly, we deride and scorn it. But like everything that's truly bad for us, we can't get enough of it. Sure we hate ourselves a little more after each viewing, but what's a little guilt compared to hours of diversion and escape? Since I'm too far gone to feel guilt over television, I asked a few friends what their favorite guilty pleasures were. What did I learn? That my friends are just shameless and depraved as I am.

#3 The Real Housewives of New York

What's wrong with this show? Let’s start with the title. First, the word real. These women are about as “real” as can be manufactured out of silicon, botox, hair-extensions, lip-plumper and spray-on tans. Some day, science may develop a more lifelike model, but until then, these are fairly reasonable facsimiles. Now, housewives. You know, cooking, cleaning raising the children. It’s pretty clear these “housewives” would never do any of these lowly chores for fear of chipping an acrylic nail. After all, that’s what menials are for, right? I will admit that they are wives and they do live in (very, very large) houses, but the resemblance ends there. Finally, New York. Okay, I’ll give ‘em that one.

So, what's so great about this show? I think we love it because it makes us feel equal parts envy and revulsion. The same bipolar rollercoaster we felt watching the bitchy, pretty clique from high school. Sure we detested that group of vapid, soulless, Barbies and Kens. We also desperately wanted to be in that group. Now, not only do we get to travel in their inner circle, we still get to make fun of it.

#2 COPS

Recognize this? Bad boys, bad boys. What cha gonna do? What cha gonna do when they come for you? Of course you do. We all do. COPS has been on for an amazing 20 years and has graced us with over 750 episodes. If it's been on this long, it must be good, right? Sure, there’s action, mystery, suspense, heroic men in blue and often, very real danger. What’s not to love?

Okay, but why do we REALLY love it? I think it's because we can’t help but feel elated as we watch some drunken, shirtless hick kissing asphault and trying to explain his way out of an arrest. We all knew that jackass and take real pleasure from seeing him finally get hauled away. Knew him? Hell, some of us dated him. Is it really wrong to take so much pleasure from such blatant schadenfreude? If it is, I don't want to be right.

#1 Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew

What makes this show my top pick for Guilty Pleasure? Easy. If you feel pleasure watching this show, you SHOULD feel guilty. This show takes celebrities in the throws of drug and alcohol addition and parades their most private and painful moments for our "education." Just how educational is it? Well, considering it's broadcast on VH1 along side such thought-provoking fare as Rock of Love, Breaking Bonaduce and Hogan Knows Best, you should get college credits just for tuning in.

In season one, celebrities like Brigitte Nielsen, Daniel Baldwin and Jeff Conaway experienced stomach-churning withdrawls, battled their inner-demons and honestly struggled for sobriety. Did appearing on the show help them? Well, out of 9 celebrities, one left after four episodes, six relapsed and one (Jeff Conaway) came back even worse for season two. This has got to be television at its ugliest. So why can't we stop watching?

We want to believe that these people are sincere in their desire to get better. And they do show the very real dangers of drug and alcohol abuse. We know there are a hundred other places that these people should go for help before a TV show. And we can't deny that most of them are not going to make it. So when one of them makes a breakthrough or even a small victory you really feel their joy - and for at least a while - some hope. And maybe that's where the pleasure of watching really comes from. Learning that as long as we're willing to keep trying, there is always hope.

But what will we learn from next season's Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew? I shudder to think.

The Emmy Awards: It's an Honor Just To Be Nominated.

2009-04-26T15:14:00.000-07:00

I can tell you from experience, it really is an honor to be nominated for an Emmy Award (it sure beats the hell out of not being nominated), but it doesn't hold a candle to actually winning. Jones Advertising has had that honor too (and we're currently nominated for 6 more). But before you say, "well, they must just give them to anyone." I must respond, "au contraire, mon frère."

Perhaps most famously, Angela Lansbury has been nominated an amazing 18 times and has yet to bring an Emmy home (that's the same number of nominations Susan Lucci had before her famous win, so there's still hope, Angela).

As Malcolm in the Middle's harried mom, Jane Kaczmarek was nominated 7 times in a row and went home empty-handed each year. Well, they always said motherhood is a thankless job.

Sienfeld's Jason Alexander was nominated 8 times with no wins (he did win 3 Screen Actor's Guild Awards in a row, so maybe that soothed the pain).

Even Happy Day's Marion Ross was turned away from the Emmy-winner's circle 5 times. What kind of monster could say no to "Mrs. C." five times? Perhaps Chuck (Richie's seldom seen big brother) finally got his revenge for being written off the show.

Of course, their disappointment must be small compared to the television icons who never even received a nomination.

Creator, producer, writer and star of the longest running live action sit-com ever, Ozzie Nelson never received a single Emmy nomination in 14 years.

Desi Arnaz was the only I Love Lucy star not to get nominated for an Emmy. Lucille Ball, Vivian Vance and William Frawley each received at least 4 nominations. Somebody's got some s'plainin' to do.

Michael Landon, Heather Locklear, Barbara Eden, Buddy Ebsen and Penny Marshall are all members of the golden goose-egg club. Well, there's always the TV Land Awards. Ugh.

Now I'm not trying to say that our regional Emmy Awards hold the same cache as the "big time" Emmys. And truth be told, if they hadn't added an Advertising category we might never had gotten that golden lady to stand so regally on our shelves. But the did and we did, so there.

As for this year's awards? We won't find out until May 30th. Until then (all together now), it's an honor just to be nominated.

To check out Jones Advertising's Emmy-nominated spots, follow the links below.

Break Room: Rescue Pest Control (Single Spot)

Not A Game: DSHS (PSA Campaign)

Daily Access: MSN/Diet Coke (Nominated in 2 new media categories)

Stay Sharp on Internet Safety: Microsoft (Nominated in 2 new media categories)

Top Ten TV Tunes

2009-04-08T20:08:00.000-07:00

Let's play a quick game of name that tune. I'll tell you a few lyrics, and you pick out the show. 1) Give us any chance we'll take it, read us any rule we'll break it, we're gonna make our dreams come true. 2) Where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came. 3) So no one told you life was gonna be this way. Your jobs a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.

I'll bet you didn't have any problem picking out the theme songs from Laverne & Shirley, Cheers and Friends. Not surprising when most people can't recite a single poem, but can sing the theme song from The Flintstones word-for-word. Why is that? That's the magical memory enhancing power of music.

It's not really magic, of course. Study after study has shown that music stimulates parts of the brain that aid in storage and recall of information. No wonder we can't seem to get those theme songs out of our heads. My top ten list contains some of the catchiest tunes and lyrics in TV history.

• The Beverly Hillbillies: "Swimmin' pools, movie stars." Nuff said.

• Bonanza: Technically no lyrics, but we all sing, "Bum bada bum bada bum bada bum ba-dah-bum.

• The Brady Bunch: Admit it, no one can resist "the youngest one in curls."

• Cheers: We all long for that place where everybody knows your name. We finally got it.

• Gilligan's Island: All it takes is, "Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale," and we get swept away.

The Flintsones: The best part of the song? Yelling "Wilma!" at the end of the closing credits.

Green Acres: "The chores! The stores! Fresh air! Time Square!" A darling duet of opposites attracting.

The Jeffersons: Who didn't want to go "movin' on up" with George and Weezie?

The Jetsons: A major part of this theme is actually "chopsticks." No wonder we eat it up.

Speed Racer: He's not just a demon on wheels. His theme song is also my ring tone.

Of course music plays a bigger role than introducing a TV show. Music has also been shown to reduce stress, and influence emotion and behavior. Which explains why music has been so integral to the most memorable advertising campaigns. Who'll every forget "my balogna has a first name, it's o-s-c-a-r"? Or, "I'd like to buy the world a coke..." You can probably even guess the tune to "meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow..."

I'm always excited when the opportunity comes up to write a jingle for a client. It's a great way to provide a lot of information in a fun and entertaining way. And it's nice to create spots that people actually enjoy listening to. Some of my favorites include this jazzy number for Mattress Gallery, this folksy warning to speeding drivers and this springy little number for the Spring Fair.

So, now you've got my pics for TVs Top Ten Tunes. Click on the comments section below and let me know which ones you can't help but sing along to.

R.I.P. TV? Not so fast!

2009-04-02T18:41:00.000-07:00

Did video really kill the radio star? Maybe, but television still hasn't wrought the end of the film industry as it was prophesied to do (any more than the film industry ended live theater). And the Internet's reports of television's death have been greatly exaggerated.

While it's true that Internet video viewership is up, traditional TV still soundly trounces it. As reported in the magazine of Online Media and Marketing & Advertising, the average time spent watching video on the Internet is 5-minutes a day. Compare that to the average 4.75 hours a day watching traditional television. Not bad for a "dead" medium.

So while the web and web video are growing in popularity, it still hasn't come close to turning television into the dinosaur they're claiming it to be. As a matter of fact, Nielson reported just last month that American TV viewership is at an-all time high. What about those 18-24 year olds that were supposed to have abandoned television for xbox, FaceBook and online porn? Well, they're watching approximately 118 hours of television a month while those 25 and holder are watching anywhere from 147 to 207 hours watching TV. Not too shabby.

Nielsen's report confirms what I've felt for a while now; that Internet video is probably not displacing traditional television any time soon. Not only do we have room in our lives for radio, TV, live theater, movies, the Internet and mobile technology - by God, we demand them all!

Speaking of changing technology, let's take a moment to talk about digital video recorders and commercials. Do you think that DVRs improve viewer's enjoyment of the programs their watching? Well think again. The New York Times recently reported on two separate studies that show that viewers actually rate programs as more enjoyable - yes enjoyable - when viewed with commercial interruption.

So, broadcast television is holding strong against Internet video, commercials improve the enjoyment of television, and I just happen to make commercials. I guess all I can say is, you're welcome.

The Office And Other British Invaders

2009-03-29T17:19:00.000-07:00

The award-winning series, The Office, has become such a staple of NBC's Thursday night lineup, that it's hard to remember that it was once just another in a long line of risky American remakes of hit British TV shows. Looking back, we see that the success of this cross-pond pollination is not unique.

Like America's love of gravy and things baked in pie shells, many of our best TV ideas are borrowed from the British. Just look at three "American" classics - Sanford and Son , All In The Family and Three's Company. They were, in their original Britain, known as Steptoe and Son, Til Death Do Us Part and Man About The House. The UK's reality shows have also provided fertile ground. What Not To Wear, Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, Wife Swap, Dancing with the Stars and American Idol are all British ideas we've accepted as our own.

Of course, there's no shortage of British shows that didn't survive the transplant. As If, Red Dwarf, Coupling, Cold Feet, Viva Laughlin, and a host of others were all canceled in short order. Somehow recent entrant Kath & Kim has been picked up for a second season despite harsh criticism and poor ratings (actually it was originally an Australian show, so maybe they're letting it slip by).

My hopes aren't exactly high for two Brit-coms currently undergoing Americanization. Jennifer Saunder's Absolutely Fabulous (Ab Fab) was not only a hit in its native England, but it also gained a large American following on Comedy Central. And this isn't the first attempt at a remake. In the late 90s, Roseanne Barr and Carrie Fisher tried to bring the series to American audiences. The story about two self-absorbed, boozy broads never got off the ground. Maybe FOX will have more luck. Stranger things have happened.

And I've learned that Kirstie Alley is attached to a remake of Dawn French's The Vicar of Dibley. This quirky 1994 Brit-com told the tale of a new lady vicar at a country parish after the Church of England started allowing women to become ordained. Originally rebuffed by the small town parishioners, her outlandish style and big heart eventually wins them over. Can Kirstie bring the same comic finesse to this rather quaint plot? I guess we'll see.

Personally, I think most of the original British version of these shows are preferable to their American cousins. And I can't figure out why they never find a larger audience here. Is it "British humor"? Are the accents too hard to understand? Is the slang just too hard to keep up with? I've always enjoyed my British comedies going all the way back to when PBS aired Monty Python, The Good Life and Are You Being Served back in the 70s. Quirky? Sure. But I think they're just ducky.

Gilligan's Island (and my brush with immortality)

2009-03-24T11:01:00.000-07:00

To say I just grew up watching reruns of Gilligan's Island is a gross under- statement. I absorbed and studied every one of the 98 original episodes, the 2 animated series (Filmation's The New Adventures of Gilligan's Island and Gilligan's Planet) and even the 3 reunion movies. I wanted to live on that island. I longed to have my own grass hut, drink from coconut cups and drive that bamboo peddle car. But mostly I wanted to spend time with the funny, tight-knit family of seven stranded castaways.

So, when I had the chance to work with one of the stars of Gilligan's Island, I didn't hesitate. I had just started writing and producing commercials for Papa Gino's, a chain of pizza restaurants in and around the Boston area. I was looking for an announcer to be "the voice of Papa Gino's" and heard one man's smokey, romanticized delivery that I thought would be perfect for the new campaign. The name on the audition tape was Russell Johnson, but even then I hadn't recognized him as none other than the Professor. As soon I learned who he was (I thought the name sounded familiar!) and that he lived near Seattle, no other voice talent could possibly measure up.

About once a month for a little over two years, Mr. Johnson would show up in the recording studio to lay down a new TV voiceover for me. Naturally, I was so star struck and and dumb struck by his presence that I never had the chance to tell him what an important show Gilligan's Island was to me. Oh, I'm sure I said (very cooly), "big fan, loved the show, blah blah blah." When really what I wanted to say was, "Oh my freaking hell, you're the Professor! I love you! I love Gilligan's Island! I'm not worthy! Sign my face!" Even after many, many recording sessions I felt small and shy around the man I hired.

Looking back, there was no reason for me to feel that way. He was always warm, friendly and extremely hard working. If anyone asked him questions about Gilligan's Island - which I was too dumb to do - he would cheerily provide us with charming anecdotes and behind-the-scenes gossip. Though I no longer work with the Professor (I mean Russell), I still have all 98 original episodes and can visit with him and the other castaways whenever I want.

Trivia: In the series first episode, the radio announcer read all the castaway's full names (except Gilligan's). The Professor's real name was Roy Hinkley. In the unaired pilot episode, the Professor was played by John Gabriel. Also in the pilot, two secretaries (Ginger and Bunny) were recast and rewritten as a movie star and farm girl, Ginger and Mary Ann.

Exposé: Was Gilligan's island really the first salvo of liberal Hollywood's "gay agenda"? This web site offers a fascinating observation.

The Penguins of Madagascar and Other Cartoon Capers!

2009-03-22T15:30:00.000-07:00

Check out this "animated" webisode to see which Saturday morning cartoons are currently my favorites and what's coming down the pike.

Scenes and Previews:

The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack

Chowder

Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

The Penguins of Madagascar

Saturday's TV Pick

2009-03-21T13:50:00.000-07:00

Tonight, ABCs Family Channel treats us to an Olivia Newton-John double feature. We start our ONJ-fest at 8PM with 1978's Grease. The original "High School Musical," features unforgettable songs, romance, comedy and perhaps the oldest cast to ever play high school students in the history of old people playing high school students. Trivia: Jeff Conaway played Danny Zuko in the Broadway Production of Grease, but ended up playing his best friend Kenicke when John Travolta got the coveted role.

Immediately after Grease, is Olivia's 1980 film Xanadu. Watch this movie for the musical numbers (and only the musical numbers) and you won't be disappointed. Starring Olivia, Jeff Beck and the incomparable Gene Kelly (in his final lead film role), this movie is like, totally 80s! From the top of Olivia's feathered hair to the bottom of her leg warmers, it's a time capsule of the music and fashions from that period. The Electric Light Orchestra (ELO) shares soundtrack duties with ONJ and they work together on the musical finale. Other ONJ songs include Magic and Suddenly (duet with Cliff Richards). Trivia: Despite the film's poor box office performance, the soundtrack went to #4 on the Billboard charts. It contained five top 20 singles and went double platinum. Also of note: The film's assistant choreographer, Kenny Ortega would later go on to direct Disney's High School Musical films.

Sci Fi Channel Goes Syfy

2009-03-16T21:09:00.000-07:00

What's Syfy? No, it's not a darling nickname for syphilis. It's going to be Sci Fi Channel's new name starting in July. Yes, really. The belief is this new name will help usher in a broader (translation: less pimply male nerd) image for the network which last year posted its highest ratings.

Sci Fi network president, Dave Howe said, "It gives us a unique word and it gives us the opportunities to imbue it with the values and the perception that we want it to have." Uh huh.

Naturally some fans of science fiction (or is it syence fyction?) may assume the name change is really an attempt to transition away from the genre that put them in the top ten of cable networks in the hopes of attracting a larger and more diverse audience. So I guess that means we can look forward to more awesome non sci-fi fare like ECW (wrestling) and Ghost Hunters. Hooray?

Along with a new moniker, they're also launching a new tag line, "Imagine Greater." According to Mr. Howe, "It's an aspirational, optimistic message about enhancing people's lives."

Darn, I was hoping it was feedback for the naming team.

Spring TV Preview

2009-03-15T14:29:00.000-07:00

New network comedies are sprouting by the bunch this spring. See which of these posies show the most promise in today's webisode.

Glee, May 19th

Better Off Ted, March 18

In The Motherhood, March 26

Project Runway

Is LOST Losing It?

2009-03-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

Between the time-jumps, dead ends and red herrings, the labyrinthine story structure of ABC's hit series LOST is simultaneously infuriating and wholly engrossing. I've been hooked on this series since its premier episode in 2004, and I've always feared the (inevitable?) day when LOST "jumps the shark." Not for the first time, something is telling me this has already happened.

Season 5 started with more action and urgency in the storytelling than we've been used to and it added an extra nail-biting dimension that made me wish the series had always been like this. In short, six of "The Island's" castaways made their way home to civilization only to discover that they must all go back to save those they left behind. With a window of only 36 hours, the survivors, scattered to the four winds, must reunite, get on a plane and hope to hell it crashes back on the island. But even before they get on the plane, something strange happens.

Now I don't mean something strange happens to the characters (because something strange ALWAYS happens to the characters), I mean something happens to the show. It... slows... down. It... feels... different. And... it... scares... me. Suddenly they're explaining things (something we've been asking for) and veils of mystery are being lifted from the island. The problem is, I need the mystery, I need to be kept in the dark. Trying to decode the cypher that is the mystery of LOST is what keeps me watching every week and jabbering like a madman at the water cooler every Thursday morning. For the last three weeks, my fellow LOST-watchers and I have simply said, "Did you watch LOST? Yeah, it was pretty good." Just a few weeks earlier I was scribbling timeline theories on notepads and arguing temporal causality.

So as much as I thought I wanted answers, it turns out I don't. I don't want to watch "good" episodes. I want to go back to screaming "what the hell just happened?!?" at the screen and scouring the internet for answers, rumors and subversive theories. Part of me is afraid that the producers (in giving the audience what we asked for) have taken away what we need. But then, the other part of me is saying, just wait. They're only lulling you into a false sense of security and then WHAM, once again I'll be dazed, confused and screaming "what the hell just happened?!?"

At least, I hope so.

Update (3/21/09): Oh tra-la! As hoped, last week's episode, "Namaste" calmed my fears and got me all excited about the rest of this season. It was tense, action packed and full of unpredictable twists and turns. Can't wait for next week's show!

LOST Schedule & Full Episodes

Martha Stewart Gets Served

2009-03-10T17:06:00.000-07:00

Martha, are you out of your cotton-pickin' mind? As much as I love Martha Stewart, I've found myself yelling that at the screen on more than one occasion. I mean it's one thing to show me the best way to make coq au vin or arrange a vase of flowers, but her 32-step method for folding a sheet was more than I could bear. And now I know I'm not alone.

Martha's daughter Alexis and her friend Jennifer Koppelman Hutt have been given the keys to Martha's episode vault and license to mercilessly rip into old segments of Martha Stewart Living. Their show, Whatever Martha (on FLN), pokes fun at Martha's choice of wardrobe, obsessive housekeeping habits and (unfairly) her guest stars. It's fun to see these old Martha segments (was 1993 really that long ago?) but a big part of the fun is watching Alexis vent her frustration at being raised by America's most famous fussbudget. It's not only entertaining, it serves a reminder not to give my kids copies of the home movies and their own show.

Whatever Martha, Fine Living Network, Wednesdays 9PM e/p

The Webisode Webisode

2009-03-08T14:18:00.000-07:00

Children's Hospital

Tiki Bar TV

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Farscape

Another Bryan Fuller Show is (now literally) Pushing Daisies

2009-03-05T12:14:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it's hard being a TV lover. A charming new show catches your eye. You start to fall for it and suddenly it changes time slots. So you swallow your pride and follow it like a lovesick schoolgirl. It goes on hiatus. So you wait. And wait. Finally it comes back and you think you'll be together forever when the network suits pull the rug right out from under you. Men!

Just like some good-for-nothing dog of a man that keeps knocking on your door at 2am, Bryan Fuller keeps coming back to break, my TV-lovin' heart. First, the creator/writer/producer's creative, quirky and dark Dead Like Me was canceled after only two seasons. Then his funny, quirky and romantic Wonderfalls is canceled after only 4 episodes on trigger-happy FOX. Most recently, the equally funny, quirky and romantic Pushing Daisies gets axed by ABC. What is it about network executives that they keep getting in the way of true love?

As you can tell, when I find a funny, quirky and romantic show, I fall hard.

Fortunately for Wonderfalls, they knew the cancelation was on its way, so the producers had the opportunity to finish 13 episodes and wrap up the romantic story arc to a satisfying conclusion. If you haven't seen this show, the entire series is available on DVD. Meanwhile, poor Pushing Daisies was taken from us half way through its second season. We can only hope that Bryan can swing a Pushing Daisies movie, comic book or interpretive dance to wrap up the story and give us a little closure. Until then I'll just have to pour over the episodes like love letters in a shoebox.

Of course, like the TV doormat that I am, as soon as Bryan Fuller makes another funny, quirky and romantic show, I'll be there (fool that I am) to watch it.

Bryan Fuller Shows on Amazon

Dead Like Me: Available on DVD

Wonderfalls: Available on DVD

Pushing Daisies: Season 1 Available on DVD

Star Trek Sets Phasers to Blu-Ray!

2009-03-04T19:49:00.000-08:00

No need to beam me up, I'm already in orbit! This week I found out that the original Star Trek series and movies are coming to Blu-Ray April 28th. This long awaited Blu-Ray bonanza begins with season 1 of TOS (that's The Original Series to you earthlings) and is to be followed closely by seasons 2, 3 and the first six Star Trek films. If you haven't guessed, this news makes me happier than a Tribble in a storage compartment of quadro-triticale.

If you haven't seen the original series in a while, you're in for a treat. The remastered live action footage look brand new and the new special effects are amazing. What's fun about these high-def discs (for purists) is that you'll be able to watch both the newly remastered episodes as well as the original episodes with their old school effects. Either way, the stories are still relevant and entertaining morality tales exploring the human condition. In space!

About a year ago, I came "this" close to getting a HD-DVD player based solely on the fact that the first three season of Star Trek had been released on that format. Despite my nerdly urges I resisted the gravitational pull of my favorite TV show in high definition and now I can only pity those who couldn't.

Of course, in typical of Star Trek fashion, a red shirt takes one for the team. Because when the 6 pack of movies is released it will include the 1979 theatrical release of Star Trek: The Motion Picture instead of 2001s highly superior Director's Edition. I mean, c'mon, they're only doing this because they suspect I'll buy the director's edition when it comes out on Blu-Ray too. I don't know why they'd think this. I've only ever bought that movie on VHS, Laser Disc (first full screen then wide screen), then DVD, then the Director's Edition on DVD. What's a few more formats between friends?

On the plus side, the set will also include a digitally remastered edition of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn so they've pretty much got me by both nacelles. My favorite TV show will finally be in dazzling high definition. I'm going to just have to bite the bullet and watch it!

Star Trek Blu-Ray on Amazon

Original Series: Available April 28, 2009

Original Motion Picture Collection: Available May 12, 2009

Motion Picture Trilogy: Available May 12, 2009

Ru Paul's Drag Race is No Drag

2009-03-04T17:38:00.000-08:00

Now that the homophobic cloud of past 8 years is starting to lift, it seems like there's an ever increasing gaggle of gay shows on the air (hooray!). And I don't think it can get any gayer than Ru Paul's Drag Race.

This hot tranny reality competition is definitely worth checking out. That is, if you like watching drag queens claw, cry and lip sync their way to become the "next drag superstar." Come to think of it, all the bitchiness and silicon reminds me of The Real Housewives of Orange County. Except the drag queens somehow seem more real.

Now, as balls-out fun as this show is to watch, these girls take the competition seriously. It's one of those shows where you get pulled in by the spectacle and hooked by the raw, human emotions. The early favorite (and mine) seems to be Ongina, but time will tell.

In the episode I watched last weekend, the girls had to create a persona based on The Queen of All Media, Oprah. Not an impersonation, mind you, but their own take on what the big O represents. Following Oprah's career path they had to do an unrehearsed read of the news from a teleprompter (everyone had a tough time pronouncing Mamoud Amademajad), then they had to ad lib a pitch for a "favorite things" product followed by interviewing a surprise guest (Tori Spelling and hubby Dean). Now these girls are ALL personality, but the pressure was on and I couldn't help but feel their pain as they struggled through the challenges. It's hard enough even if you aren't wearing 6 inch stilettos (I'm guessing here). I won't spoil the ending, but you can catch all the episodes to date at Logoonline.com.

Like all truly great TV, Ru Paul's Drag Race entertains to teach. Whether that lesson is to look at drag queens with more understanding or how to properly tuck your junk is up to you. The important thing is it's a hell of a way to kill 30 minutes. Watch It.

Watch Ru Paul's Drag Race on:

Logo TV (Check local listings for availability/times)

Full episodes on LogoOnline